Its time I put myself first

I used to think that we were
Mulan and Shang, or at the very least
Snow White and her prince, only poison
had no power
in our world because this
is a fairytale and fairytales
have happy endings.

But we are Bonnie and Clyde, more like Romeo
and Juliet than
Disney would allow, and you have no qualms about
skinning me alive if that meant you could
live a little better.

The hunter in Snow White hesitated;
you did not.

We are not a happy ending.
We are acid rain and bullet wounds,
a knife to the chest and another to the spine,
and I am tired of offering
myself up as a sacrifice to your altar
in exchange for broken promises and
intentional scars.

We are a broken lanyard on a hanging
bridge, destined to fall, and if that’s true, then I would
rather shoot myself in the head right now
to save us the pain
later.

I don’t want this friendship anymore.
It has always been a one way street, where I have
given more than you would
understand, more than you ever deem
necessary to give back.

I’m sick and tired of being disposable,
the backup plan to the backup
plan, and I will no longer
beg at your heels for what should be easily given
if you cared at all